Category Archives: Uncategorized

The more Pinky Pervsalot studied the ecology of the travelling freak show, the more her desire to become a funambulist crystallized, the more she realized she was but a flying trapeze artist destined to bang the fire-eating two-headed man. -Gladys … Continue reading →

After a particularly harrowing LSD trip Nigel Diapers decided then and there, lying amongst a heap of cat litter sand castles that he had built and immediately crushed in his drug-fueled stupor, that the drugs were inhibiting him from furtherance. … Continue reading →

ASK CINDY Dear Cindy, I’ve been dating the love of my life, Carl, for 6 months now and we are completely smitten with each other. Recently though, Carl has taken on the strangest persona — he’s dressing only in green, … Continue reading →

While the idea of getting an accidental boner while presenting on fishery ecosystems at the United Nations Climate summit would give most men the collywobbles and cause them to pretend that their dancing peens were nothing but a trick of … Continue reading →

An excerpt from Cindy Capleton’s dissertation for the completion of her doctorate, the topic of which was MILFs — The Cornerstones of Society: “As demonstrated in the datum below, it has become clear that causation of MILFascination in the Western … Continue reading →

She was young, into new medicines. He was a well-to-do great-grandfather from upstate. She liked to think of herself as bohemian, and he owned the Corporate Conference Convention Corp. She said their first meeting had been brusque (she felt smarter speaking in extra letters); he … Continue reading →

It was a stark and wormy night, and Meghan had a serious case of the bed bugs. She checked her chonometer: 3:14am. Son of an itch. She knew coming to work at the Center For Web Development was a gamble, but she followed Todd, a spider who once promised … Continue reading →

At his favorite diner on 69th and Lexington (Sexington, as he liked to call it), Diapers sat in the corner at his favorite table, sipping oolong tea and nibbling gingerly from time to time at the half-masticated end of a … Continue reading →

With bated gait, he moved slowly down the rows, a bunch of hastily tied stalks of lavender clutched in his right hand. Is it here? he thought aloud, straining his eyes to find the marker among the masses of sastrugi: … Continue reading →

Despite his ornate collection of pastel velvet tailcoats and his fancy-free, lackadaisical disposition, Willy Wonka was not the lovable misfit the world thought him to be. Wonka, unbeknownst to the public, was actually a creepy, ghoulish weirdo who liked to … Continue reading →