Despite his ornate collection of pastel velvet tailcoats and his fancy-free, lackadaisical disposition, Willy Wonka was not the lovable misfit the world thought him to be. Wonka, unbeknownst to the public, was actually a creepy, ghoulish weirdo who liked to spend his free time shuffling around his factory in a threadbare monk’s robe and viking helmet while taking inventory and doing Cray-Pas sketches of his merkin collection (which numbered in the thousands, apparently). So dastardly was Wonka that he once pulled a dramatic switcheroo on a group of poor, unsuspecting tourists who had bought tickets for a tour of his factory but were instead taken on what the fiend liked to call “Willy Wonka’s House of Horrors: Merkinmania.”
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