Queen Shingz, sententious and proud of it, once personally spanked 90 of her own citizens for staging a flash mob that she described as an “immoral, disgusting offense” which involved all 90 of the flash mobsters writing naughty words in pee in the Queen’s airplane hangar.

–Cindy Capleton

Thinking herself a diarist of the highest order, Wrinkles rented out an airplane hangar, draped it in navy blue velvet, put signs up all over Sprinkyville and held her first biweekly reading. Thinking they were coming to see a ‘diarrhea-ist,’ Wrinkles’ guests left as soon as they realized she was reading sententious journal entries and not holding a poop-related sporting event.
[The previous Secret Touchings post was an add for spellcheck. Thank you.]
–Lady Schwartz

As if it weren’t bad enough to be subjected to a tour of the “lost hangars of Kentucky,” but the sententious guide delivered as many personal life reflections as he did grossly boring monologues about the work that was once done on the aircraft of yesteryear in every backwoods town to which our rundown tour bus could truck.
-Gladys Potter

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