I put on my hieratic face and the sales associate had no choice but to empathize with me and give me a full refund for the $800 gown I purchased then “couldn’t use because my socialite fiance called off our engagement party and engagement, too” (but in truth I left the tags on and wore it to the “A Whole New Balls” charity gala and couldn’t be seen in it twice.
-Gladys Potter

Smith learned the hard way that it’s impossible to get a refund from his church, no matter how merry and joyful the hieratic brothers who run it seem–after meekly pointing out that he was given a walnut brownie at the local bake sale (Smith was allergic to walnuts), the priest admonished him harshly and made him scrub out all of the priests robes.

–Cindy Capleton

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