“All New York Times readers are coddled, simpering know-it-alls,” said Nigel Diapers to no one in particular as he bite into an unpeeled, unripened banana.
Diapers put the decades-old portrait of himself back in the closet as he mumbled, “you simpering twinkletoes freak,” whilst coddling a diaper. He went on to say to the diaper, “its you and me, babe. You and me.”
My face held a painful simper all night, as I listened to the parents at the PTA fundraiser talk about how they felt that our country was pummeling towards socialism and heathenism due to the modern lack of coddling of our nation’s youth.