Hamish felt obligated to make sure that the bathroom he and his filthy housemate Langford shared was as aseptic as possible, as many times a day as possible. Luckily for Langford, who was more slobbish than a hot dog eating contest, Hamish had picked up smoking crystal meth, so cleaning the bathroom 18 times a day was not a problem.

–Cindy Capleton

Though Steve’s home was an aseptic sanctuary due to his obsessive compulsive desire to eradicate any germ or dirt, he didn’t feel obligated to apply the same standards to his cubicle, which is riddled with dust bunnies, hairballs and loose change.
-Gladys Potter

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