Being the inveterate procrastinator he was, Simpson couldn’t help but jubilate with a little shuffle-ball-change as he handed Mrs. Schnauzer his term paper, “My Beaver, My Self,” exactly one hour early. -Gladys Potter

Diapers had the strangest inveterate habit as a child: he would take his dog, Captain Frankenbean, out for a walk and jubilate Frankenbean’s toilet skills by feeding him a bacon covered mushroom, jumping into the creek behind his house, and leaving Frankenbean’s poop in a fiery bag on his neighbor’s doorsteps.

–Cindy Capleton

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