Pee Wee joined Kickstarter in the hopes that some benefactor angel would grubstake his newest venture: “Homeschool of General Penis Knowledge” for adults. HGPK’S first lesson planned to highlight paronymous origins between “penis” and other common words (such as the suggestive word “pencil”).
Jenkins pitched his dream business to his boss: a fortune-telling hotline service that speaks only in paronymous, alliterative riddles. After being rejected, Jenkins picked up his briefcase, stormed out of the conference room, and ran weeping into the women’s bathroom.
Eugene Ondamare sought to grubstake Sheila on her venture to market a bestial themed fleshlight – the marewand, not only due to his confidence in an underplayed demand for such a tool, but also the paronymous relationship between its name and his own felt serendipitous.
I told Pinkerton the only way I’d grant him the necessary grubstake to get his fart production business off the ground was if he proved his worth by writing a 5000-word Statement of Intent with every third word being paronymous.