To celebrate the start of summer, the Secret Touchings family held a reverse abstergent party at which we drank vodka punch, noshed on 16 Costco-sized bags of Stacy’s pita chips, and devoured a 10-ft long banana split.

–Cindy Capelingtron

While Pele considered her constant reverse peristalsis an abstergent act, the rest of the world considered it an eating disorder.
-Gladys Potter

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