A wild wind blowing fifty thousand leagues swept Mr. Diapers’ cardboard hut and all of his manuscripts and keepsakes went flying across Pee Pee Land. Some lucky soul many miles away shortly thereafter noticed a piece of paper stuck to a fallen tree, examined it closer, became noticeably disgusted and threw it away, but not before I saw it: “Anal Enchiridion: Properly Pooping One’s Pants in Public and Private” by Sir Mr. Diapers the First.
Once I read the enchiridion, I knew I had to join the League of One Thousand Crinkles, for in their credo, they proclaim that all creatures should roam the earth nude save for a single anal tassel.
I breezed through the enchiridion before I officially joined the League of Ne’er You Diapers and therefore shouldn’t have been shocked when my initiation process involved covering my entire body with Ne’er You Minds and streaking through Times Square.