Larry was disqualified from the Special Genital Olympics when it was discovered that the reason he was so volant in the Dick Joust was because he had used steroids to moisturize his weiner.
-Gladys Potter

Before a marathon I always moisturize my feet with my own custom blend of toe jam, smashed peas and the poop of a newborn baby, which is how I am always so nimble and volant during the race.
-Lady Schwartz

The key to keeping your volant movement after you’ve moisturized is to think and act like a walrus.

–Cindy Capleton

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