“I obtest you to change your shirt! You look like a literal hobo!” I said to my darling husband, but he refused for he would rather wear clothes that are wrinkled to the point of shrinkage than face our crappy iron and miniature ironing board.
-Gladys Potter

My best friend once tried to convince her boyfriend that the 2002 hit feminist film drama of the year, The Hours, was a literal depiction of the stages of a man transforming into a werewolf. Luckily for her boyfriend, he quickly read up on the film and obtested seeing it, stating that he “would rather get his eyebrows threaded by Bruce Willis using a dull pencil.”

–Cindy Capleton

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