Gaze upon the magistrate’s bona fides of Nigel Diapers and you’ll discover that he:
-Was born in Surrey, date unknown
-Loves salsa music from his time spent in Cuba; zydeco from a PCP-themed pub crawl in New Orleans; and hula dance from watching Lilo and Stitch one time
-Is an official member of the Bavarian Illuminati
-Has been arrested 5 times for public urination
While ‘cleaning’ one afternoon, Phil accidentally came across an official notarized list of his roommate Steve’s bona fides tucked into the lining of his eelskin suit and was shocked to learn that Steve won a Grammy for a zydeco album he produced in the 80’s titled “I Ain’t Your Mama’s Bitch (But I Am Her Female Dog).”
Well, I certainly am disappointed that I trusted Louis’s bona fides instead of auditioning him, since his performance sounded more like a cat in heat than the sweet zydeco we’re used to down here at PeePee’s Palace!