The one person who voiced his ebullient feelings on the early vernal beauty happening all around us was none but Nigel Diapers, who unleashed all of his fury against the pre-season flower blooms and warm weather by strategically leaving piles of poop around the Lower East Side.

–Cindy Capleton

Pepi sat under the vernal fart blossom tree with an ebullient song in his heart not just because it was the first day of spring but also because Mr. Nigel Diapers had just agreed to take him to the prom!!!!
-Gladys Potter

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