I could surmise from his rutilant face that he’d gotten into my secret glitter stash and so I declared, “Please don’t roll around in my glitter without asking. I mean, isn’t that common freaking sense?”
-Gladys Potter

As far as I could surmise, the rutilant sheen emanating from my skin was because of a two hour long self-tanning bath, not because of that radioactive water I accidentally ingested from the East River.

–Cindy Capleton

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