Nearly everyone assumes that Gargoyle Lloyd is of a foul mettle–what with his grouchy slouching, mean sneer and constant growling–but in reality, he has the demeanor of the gentlest of cats and looks so ferocious because his brain has been addled by years of PCP abuse with his best friend, Mr. Diapers.
Mr. Diapers didn’t have the mettle to lead a public fight against the evil Mayor Peepee so instead he erected a gargoyle on the facade of the town hall in the hopes that the mayor’s deep-seated phobia of gothic architecture would force him to resign.
I lost all mettle and darn near peed myself when the massive stone gargoyle perched on the library’s arched entryway came to life and demanded the cereal I had been enjoying in the sun of the early spring morning.