I held mother in a new regard today after she baked a new shiv (I broke my last one shanking the wiseguy who took my pudding), a bag of Snickers, the entire Twilight series on book AND video, a bag of almonds, and a brand new Ne’er You Mind into a crepe cake, which was delivered to me last night. And I’m not even in prison anymore!

–Cindy Capleton 

The shrimp, now in the hands of Chef Sprinkles and pondering his last moments intact, looked on the deturding shiv with great regard, as it felt to him like much needed enema.

~Lady Schwartz

With no regard for the fact that my head was pounding like someone stuck a shiv in it, the tiny little monkey came out of nowhere, stood on my lap, and began smashing together two cymbals repeatedly until I agreed to break him off a piece of my Kit Kat bar.

-Gladys Potter

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One Response to Shiv/regard

  1. evonballs says:

    I have no regard for the skinhead inmate, with whom this toothbrush shiv I intend to impale!

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