One must always remember to control the intervals of one’s voice when trying to expostulate with Mr. Diapers–because of his rampant use of PCP caused him to lose the ability to hear high pitched sounds of reason. 

–Cindy Capleton


At every interval I attempted to expostulate with Mr. Diapers, but no matter what I said, I couldn’t convince him to keep his meatball recipe a secret…and so today we see Chef Boyardee’s name in lights and Mr. Diapers not a chef at all but rather a has-been ass tassel manufacturer living in some trainyard.

-Gladys Potter

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