Our 1% gasconades have been hilariously offensive, but in the midst of this economic climate, I must remain evasive with our joke-boasts so as to not sound like a stupid asshole. 

–Cindy Capleton

“I AM THE KING OF THE FREAKIN’ WORLD!!! Forgive the gasconade, but it isn’t every day that you get to cross paths with the evasive Bigfoot–let alone capture him in a homemade trap of soap, rat whiskers, and cardboard as I did just now!” cried Lady Mendl, whilst simultaneously sipping hot tea through a gold-plated straw and injecting a tranq dart into that poor old Sasquatch of a beast.

-Gladys Potter

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