LaPortia’s motives were glaringly prehensible; she was constrantly striving to find a fellow labrador aficionado -if only bestiality weren’t so taboo- it would have been easier to identify a co-conspirator.
I was about to face-off with an alcohol aficionado (I believe they’re now called alcoholics) in a drinking contest when I remembered the wonderfully simple and prehensible advice my friend Lady Schwarz once gave me: “I’ll give you the same advice Roseanne once gave Tom Arnold. You enter the room with your dick first!” And with that, I won not only the contest, but the respect of my peers, and a trip to the E.R. to have my stomach pumped.
Being a cheese aficionado, I felt that winning the All American East Dillon High School Cheese-Off was a prehensible feat; however, the irrefragable truth that iit wasn’t hit me like a ton of barf when the contest commenced and revealed that it wasn’t cheese trivia or manufacturing that determined the winner but rather it was eating 68 pounds of blue cheese in under three minutes.