Faisal calmly strapped my wrists and ankles in, seemingly unaffected by my body as it thrashed -he had played steward to my spontaneous and violent orgasms many times before- keeping me and those around me safe from my body as it went berserk in convulsions erupted out of thin air, as far as the doctors who had studied me for the past eight months could tell.

-wrightless smalls

Dream Diary, 10|28|11
In last night’s dream, I was simply going berserk trying to find a suitable costume for Lady Schwarz and I after being thrown out of a hotel whose cruel steward was a combination of my mother and a scorpion woman. After Gladys, Wrightless, and Sir Pumpkin Longshanks all shut down Lady Shwarz’s and my idea to be crayons for Halloween (the costume would have consisted of a velvet body stocking in the color of our choice), I ventured over to a Wallgreens pharmacy, where it was decided that we would be Josie and the Pussycats; is this a true glimpse into the future?
–Cindy Capleton

He who is but a steward of Mr. Diapers’ dreams shall go berserk trying to realize his own.

~Lady Schwartz

As steward of this free organic all-natural food ship, I hereby declare that we shall no longer share our whole wheat farm-raised bean sprout burgers on artisan rolls with the berserk and underserved homeless population of Lower Manhattan, for they are less stylish than we and certainly wouldn’t be willing to participate in a drum circle to stand up for whatever vague principles they believe in!!! #ows (posted from my iPhone paid for by my parents’ stock market earnings)

-Gladys Potter

This entry was posted in Mr. Diapers, Our Best Friends, The State of the World. Bookmark the permalink.

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