Haverfrank knew better than to analyze his mother’s vesuvian, explosive rage, and he knew even better than to take her abuses to heart, as there was no getting around it: he had stolen her mink-seal stole and wore it as a loincloth in his drag show, A Midtown Fairy’s Summer’s Nocturnal Emission.
On my first day as a licensed psychotherapist I was eager and ready to analyze my first patient, town hobo Mr. Diapers. My pencils were sharpened, my notebooks were open and my glock was fully loaded just in case his vesuvian temper got the best of him and he tried to stuff me in his carpetbag.
Don’t try to analyze a vesuvian butt. Simply accept that farts make the world go ’round.