Portend/liftoff

The fourth grade didn’t know it at the time but in the moments before liftoff at the annual school rocket launch, their beloved teacher Mr. Wrinkles made an announcement that portended disaster, as it caused his dismissal soon after: “Welcome to the annual rocket launch, class. This event gives me a boner.”
~Lady Schwartz

Mr. Banana (no relation to Dr. Banana) should have spoken up months before liftoff, but it wasn’t until moments before that he portended the very uncomfortable trip to space he and his team were about to embark on, and finally admitted that he replaced all of the toilet paper on the spaceship with donuts.

–Cindy Capleton 

Ne’er the premature liftoff of a weiner a good man portends.
-Gladys Potter

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One Response to Portend/liftoff

  1. wrightless smalls says:

    Captain Jerusalem’s shaft began to liftoff his right thigh, swollen testicles portending the untimely dismissal of his liquid manhood, just as Capleton walked in to offer a freshly baked crab dip.

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