“In this class I will monitor your translation of Shakespeare’s complete works from English into pig latin,” said professor Weiners. “We will then translate the text back to its original British English and examine the marked differences between the original and the metaphrastic version. And then we’ll have an Ancient Roman orgy and celebrate our bodies.”
At first, using Sprinkles as the subject of my time travel experiment seemed like a great idea, but as I monitored her behavior after days of going back and forth between 1892 and 2011, she was becoming a frazzled, metaphrastic version of herself, and I had to get her out of the time machine and back into her hamster ball, sacrificing scientific progress for the return of her happiness.
Cindy Capleton was eating at a donut eating contest this day but would like to offer her atonement through the expression of dance.