A hush fell over the stadium as the Krumsville Kobras’ clutch kicker came to the plate, but instead of executing his usual home run kick into the stands, he stood on his tippy toes and flounced about like an ecstatic dancer; perhaps he shouldn’t have mixed psychedelics with Matball, even if it was just an exhibition game.
I found it odd that, instead of wearing the standard issue big-league uniform, clutch hitter Alex Rodriguez donned a bikini with a flounced skirt that he quickly tore off and threw into the crowd before beginning a wild dance routine involving a bat and the strange misuse of a pair of balls. Then I realized I was at Wiggles, a tranny strip club famous for successfully courting major sports stars, and not at the Yankees pre-season warm-up game.
Cindy Capleton, who was being force-fed lentils by Sir Pumpkin Longshanks and who apologizes deeply for her absence would like to add:
“This must be some new kind of dance that the youths like to do…it’s very modern,” Maude whispered as she observed the company’s clutch dancer, who was flouncing around on stage, scratching at anyone who came near her.
“No no,” said Dottie, who was holding back so much laughter she was in near-tears. “That girl is probably just high on acid and doesn’t know what she’s doing.”