Today, Cindy Capleton celebrates as the iron chains that bind her to her cubicle are finally cut. Instead of socializing with her colleagues, she is choosing to disconnect her phone, ignore any summons from her bosses, hide under her desk and obsessively add glaces to her coconut soy mocha in order to maintain its icy chill. She is also planning on making fart noises any time someone stops by to look for her.
I refuse to socialize with the Penistons anymore because when I asked to add a glace to the warm milk served at their annual jamboree they stared at me like I had a pair of hairy balls growing out of my chin.
I found it strange that Teddy, at the age of 32, still insisted on a glace in any bowel of hot soup he consumed and prayers before each meal, but I continued to socialize with him because I took comfort in his old-fashioned charms and unsurpassed ability to tell knock-knock jokes.