Purloin/skirmish

Michele arrived home to find Marcus chugging The Lord Above’s Potion to Eradicate Homosexual Tendencies he had purloined from his workplace (The Lord Above’s Center for Homo Healing), at which point they skirmished a bit, not because Michele believed this revealed her husband’s closeted homosexuality (clearly he was drinking it solely for the priopism side effects) but rather because she was disappointed in his disobeying the Ten Commandments.
-Gladys Potter

After a short water balloon skirmish between troops from Wrikleralia and Buttsville, representatives from both countries were sent to resolve the mysterious purloin of whoopee cushions from the Toys R Us that runs along the border.

–Senior Capleton 

Supermarket manager Rory McBuns was so sure that the fat man had shoved a ham under his trench coat that he refused to let him leave the grocery store, causing a skirmish involving himself, the fat man and the fat man’s midget friend Larry. In the tousle Larry let out a spectacular fart and the purloined ham fell to the floor with a thud having ripped through the back of his tiny little pants.  Never at a loss for words Larry shrugged and said, “I wanted to see what it was like to have a ham up my ass.  Not bad.”

~Lady Schwartz

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2 Responses to Purloin/skirmish

  1. Sir Pumpkin Longshanks says:

    An intervention was needed. Although Rick’s friends had become reluctantly accustomed to having to listen to the lurid details of his promiscuous behavior, his new “jolly” of purloining his anonymous partners’ butt plugs and placing them on his trophy shelf (without a good wash!) was where the line had to be drawn. “It is one thing to swipe a dirty ‘manty’ after a good rough and tumble but it is quite another to take someone’s personal pleasure device!”, said Steve. “Yeah bro!” said Paul, “you have single-handedly caused so many online skirmishes on Grindr that the site has crashed and homos are walking around aimlessly with their phones in the air!”. Mark looked to the side trying not to be involved in the intervention as the whole idea of it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to admit that he had swiped a few “toys to remember you by” in his day.

  2. Lady Kit Kat says:

    The skirmish between the two football teams ended with the purloining of the football.

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