Professor Chichi Rodriguez cleared her throat. “Good morning, class,” she started, her naturally tenor voice resonating all the way to the back of the auditorium. “And welcome to Undressed: The History of Drag Queens 405, section 1. Please open your copy of Balls, Boobs, and Brawn to page 320 and discuss Queen Midas, King Midas’s lesser known transvestite brother, and her propensity for aureate lip-synching and how this talent would eventually lead to her rise to supernova queen status.”
Gregory Wienerz was famous in his town for his propensity for eccentric lawn ornamentation. Each blade of grass on his elaborately landscaped estate was hand-gilded so that upon pulling into his driveway you were taken by the aureate glow of the sun glinting off the lawn – and if you listen close, you could hear Gregory chuckle to himself as he watched his guests, unable to see, wildly swerve their way towards the house.
As we sat in silence at PeeWee’s Diner, his propensity for peace, tolerance, and harmony was evident, emanating from his soul like the sun; however, when he opened his mouth to excuse himself to the restroom, a less natural aureate glow struck me, causing me to say to him, deadpan, “A gold tooth? Honestly, Gandhi, I think the worldwide fame may have finally gotten into your head.”