Deadpan/tolerance

I try to remain as deadpan as possible when I am chained to my cubicle on Water Street, but upon the 12th hour of soul-sucking, mindless monotony, my tolerance wanes thin and I begin to go insane, weeping openly, tearing my hair out by the chunks, and shoving Little Debbie Swiss Rolls into my mouth by the dozen.

–Cindy Capleton

World famous magician Piss Angel, Mindfreak, had no choice but to confront his assistant once he realized he could no longer tolerate his way of mooning the audience as a method of distraction. Because of the delicacy of the situation, Piss Angel composed himself and said in a deadpan voice, “I’ve noticed that when you moon the audience lately you’ve been pooping on the stage. Which is fine. But perhaps there are other ways to distract when I’m performing my illusions.”

~Lady Schwartz

gladys potter was unable to complete a sentence today. please see 7/29 where she attempts to make up for it.

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4 Responses to Deadpan/tolerance

  1. wrightless smalls says:

    In most cases, I don’t feel anything at all, so it’s not difficult to retain my deadpan demeanor, but when confronted with the smell of my own body and it’s lack of tolerance for the elements -the guinea pig cage aura rising from my armpits- I am so offended that my stone resolve shatters into chips of horror falling off my face aghast and choking around the bile rising like the sun out of my mouth.

  2. Smalls, you smell like a rainbow!

  3. hiroprotagonist says:

    Luego spoke strictly in dead pan, his eyes cast in oblique ways; he never looked you in the eye. The over all effect was menacing. In the dark, humid bars that lined the streets of Palermo, he drank whiskey effectively and quietly. Once in a while a young thug who did not know him would make the mistake of crossing him. Looking sideways, he would invite them to go outside into the indigo streets, one hand reaching into his coat implying everything. His strategy was to take a knife thrust in his arm or thigh. His tolerance for pain was extreme; his intolerance for humans was equal in this regard.

  4. Dr Banana says:

    The deadpan stare of the leader was unnerving for some of the recruits, but not for me. I was confident I could detect the exact moment he farted without any change in facial expression at all. My tolerance for hip-hop was also improving, although I had yet to hear of 50 cent at that time.

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