Last year for his birthday, Jeffery Weinerslav was presented with a wondrous handsel in the form of a syzygy eclipse, one that won’t occur for another 300 years–however, he was completely unfazed by the celestial show, for the only thing that was actually on his wish list that year was a donkey.

–Cindy Capleton


“I yearn for you as the tide yearns for the moon, ever-reaching its crest to the heavens.¬† A syzygy of the sun, earth and moon have nothing on us, Snuggle – you, me and the soft blanket you so lovingly embrace. May I have it? There, I’ll keep it, a handsel to remind me of your yellow fur and round ears. I love you, sweet, sweet Downy fabric softener bear.”

~Lady Schwartz

What a day to have my camera in the shop, I thought as I stared at the fleeting beauty for which I wouldn’t have a handsel: The Schwartz Syzygy, the once-in-a-blue naturally occuring phenomenon when the sun god’s taint, the moon god’s butt hair, and the rain goddess’s left boob perfectly align to cast a golden glowing penis-shaped shadow across all the land.
-Gladys Potter

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2 Responses to Handsel/syzygy

  1. Dr Banana says:

    When Harry Waffwaff saw the line of traffic as epic as a celestial syzygy, the handsel was enough to put him off for good. “Screw this” he said to himself as he collected his things from the car and puked in the ashtray.

  2. Velma Creen says:

    To be the the center of a curious sygzy. Blues broken by foray into a new and younger man’s venture. Many a handsel will be forthcoming, even if only imagined.

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