Detente/schmooze

After Sir Pumpkin Longshanks convinced both representatives from Wrinklearia and Buttsville to sign a peace treaty, thus bringing the infamous Wrinklearia-Buttsville conflict to a detente, both representatives tried to schmooze and woo Longshanks into a courtship, but to no avail. Longshanks was already engaged to famed television star and bar owner, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

–Cindy Capleton

 

 

“Well. I can schmooze with the best of them, but with this heat? With my shorts pulled all the way up to my pupik and sweat running down my punim like this? Gay cacken afen yam, I say to the weatherman. I’m schvitzing like a warthog in an open field. Sweaty like this I’m supposed to bring about a detente in this mishegas between Lady Schwartz and Aunt Rosenwassersteingold? Oy vey. Let those two meshugannas resolve their conflict for themselves.”

~Lady Schwartz

I need to schmooze the ass off the clerk at the bike shop for a discount so I can afford my new Fuji to establish detente between it and the Country Girl: Country Girl could return to her hipster people and Fuji can be released from captivity in the bike shop to fly freely with me.
-Gladys Potter

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2 Responses to Detente/schmooze

  1. Dr Banana says:

    To try and schmooze her, he had spent the day installing a new air conditioning unit. It was to no avail, a detente had developed between them which seemed to have ended what they had.

  2. wrightless smalls says:

    Words cannot express how excited I was to meet Mitchell Lichtenstein, the genius behind the cinematic homage to vagina detente! It should come as no surprise that I spit up my beer just like a certain frenchman we know upon the screening of said film.

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