On her first visit to the White House to negotiate the trade of perfumes and wildflowers from her country, Wrinkleralia, Princess Petunia was appalled by the dearth of potpourri in the presidential lavatory.

-Gladys Potter

Today, we celebrate the magnanimous birth of Lady Peen Schwarz, whose life skills and talents are a potpourri of wonderment and magic. While many people have a total dearth of heart, poise, and brains, Lady Schwarz overflows with these values, and will continue to spread her trig ways and gumption-bubbling graces for hundreds of years to come.

–Cindy Capleton



After a dearth of personal days, I am finally taking one and enjoying some free time off of work – a much needed break from the potpourri of fascinating, bizarre, and mildly insane customers that seek to take my soul away with them in their fancy shopping bag.

~Lady Schwartz

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4 Responses to Dearth/potpourri

  1. Gladys Potter says:

    There shall be no dearth of sweet smelling potpourri, no dearth of laughter that makes one pee oneself,no dearth of joy, no dearth of hubbub, no dearth of great hunger for life, for today marks the anniversary of the birth of Lady Schwarz!

  2. Dr Banana says:

    The smell of potpourri created a dearth of breathable air, whilst the strong smell of poop from the upstairs lavatory created a dearth of space for all the people crowding round to get a whiff.

  3. Velma Creen says:

    I find myself in a dearth of literary peni, poo, and gastronomical entendre. Potpourri ’tain’t. Think I’ll order take-out from Nathan’s and tell Baudelaire to spare the mustard.

  4. wrightless smalls says:

    “There’s a dearth of sustenance you say? Let them eat pink! No townsman can go hungry when this onslaught of protein filled discharge is produced at such a rate! Smell it Longshanks! How could you resist that potpourri?! Let them eat pink I say!”

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