Usufruct/imply

Technically, it is our Amurrican, god-given usufruct to camp on this beach and if you’re implying that pooping on it is damaging it, then you can just march yourself over to the USSR, you god damn communist!

–Cindy “These Colors Don’t Run” Capleton

My future mother-in-law gave me a disapproving look to imply that she knew the only reason that I was marrying Mr. Reese was for usufruct of unlimited peanut butter and sugar in a milk chocolate shell forever and ever after. I shook my head in solemn agreement and acceptance of her accusation.
-Gladys Potter

“Do you mean to imply that I spent the night here?” I asked the security guard as he prodded me with his nightstick.  Indeed, it was very early. My eyes were still sleepy as I frantically rolled up my sleeping bag. “Well, I haven’t.  And anyway, I paid admission. With those prices I have every right to enjoy the usufruct of the entire museum,” I declared as I unhitched my pup tent. Even I could sense an unpleasant self-righteous tone to my voice so I left, and silently vowed that next time I sleep in a museum I would pick a more secluded spot than under a brontosaurus skeleton.

~Lady Schwartz

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2 Responses to Usufruct/imply

  1. Dr Banana says:

    To make the usufruct beneficial, Borris needed first to learn how to drive. He did this in a rather unusual manner, by sitting in a stationary vehicle making vroom vroom noises, sliding his hands around the steering wheel and moving his body vigorously side-to-side as to imply sharp turns. When he thought he had mastered the control of a car in this way he took to the streets and almost immediately crashed into a passing sheep, which wouldn’t be so unusual had it not been wearing a cowboy hat and blowing loudly on a whistle at the time.

  2. wrightless smalls says:

    I didn’t mean to imply that he was ONLY eye candy, just that his topless presence proved easy to usufruct masturbatory pleasure from.

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