Gertrude always took the time to assay life’s complex wonderments but never took a moment to brush her teeth.
Despite my desperate attempts to assay and memorize every single ad, grafitti, person’s face, etc. on the subway this morning (I even translated a complex advertisement in Mandarin for divorce lawyers), I couldn’t help but notice the gentleman sitting directly across from me–he was in shorts without underwear and continued to cross and uncross his legs all the way from Queens to Manhattan, his old balls flapping around like jumpropes.
Every time I take a minute to assay my observations on life the most complex thought I have is it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity. Which proves to me I’m dumber than a bag of hammers.