Deciduous/aerobatics

Though she tried to get lost in the 21st Annual Schneckel’s Model Airplane Aerobatics Show on vibrant display over the Old Pee River, Lady Mendl couldn’t stop thinking about her true love, Wrightless Smalls, who had just left her high and dry, and how happiness was but a deciduous fancy on her poop stain of a life. – Gladys Potter

Verbal aerobatics weren’t enough. A debate with Mayor Humperdink von Peniston (over whether to plant deciduous trees or evergreens on at the base of the new Old Pee River Footbridge) would surely require more than clever persuasions, linguistic gymnastics or lexical seductions.  So Lady Mendl shampooed and combed her finest merkin, hoping to make an offer that even Mr. von Peniston couldn’t refuse.

~Lady Shwartz

As quickly as the Summer turns to Fall, Mike Schmornoff felt deciduous glee after drinking several Keyfood brand cups full of Gladys Potter’s world famous vodka punch, during which he attempted aerobatics by launching himself off of anything solid he could find. The next morning, as his memory came crashing back to him, he made sense of the entire night except one thing, and he sent out this mass text message, pleading for an answer: “Did someone roofie me last night?”

–Cindy Capleton

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4 Responses to Deciduous/aerobatics

  1. Velma Creen says:

    Jasmine and I had just returned from Yemen, I with silk saris and she with a head cold. She insisted on sorting through pictures of our trip and torturing me with narration. “And dees id you, us, n ‘dem, siddin’ in Arab attics”.

  2. Dr Banana says:

    Just three were left by the time Ronnie Sunshine’s decidedly deciduous story got to how he actually came about learning his famed “horse with a carrot up the wrong hole” impression that later found him fame and performing the routine regularly for the King of England, who requested it repeatedly for many different visiting dignitaries. It was the spring of 1949 when Ron met a beautiful Russian aerobatics instructor with no hair on her head but a fire in her body that burned so heartily her butt was like the exhaust pipe of a piece of farm machinery from the same era. Ronnie just put two and two together and the most famous horse act in history was born. She died that same year but the fire inside would never go out. She blew herself right back out of the ground at least 6 times, the most extreme case ever recorded of flatulus maximus magnificus from a dead woman.

  3. Velma Creen says:

    “To answer your question, I am deciduous, and I decide what’s best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my aerobatics class.” George Dumbya,

  4. wrightless smalls says:

    Cholula’s growing pains were worse than most, she longed to be one of the Stazikinoff daughters, growing only shapely busoms and thighs, flying through the trees with the rest of the aerobatics team, instead she suffered her own deciduous torture caged, snake girl shedding not only her uterine lining on the 28th day but an entire layer of skin as well, exposing her raw flesh and searing pain to her only family, the infant man and bearded woman caged to the left and right of her.

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