Rhonda breathed a sigh of relief as the opening day crowd pullulated, growing bigger by the minute – they positively swarmed the front door, demanding that the museum open early. Tickets sold out so quickly the show, entitled “Authentic Birth Control Devices of the Caveman,” was extended. She was happy people were flocking to it – it had taken her ages to get all those carved stone condoms under one roof.
As my day progresses and the hi how are you how about this weathers pullulate from the mouths of robotic passing suits and skirts in the endless disgusting hallways leading to my hell-cube, I look longingly forward to getting home, exchanging authentic smiles with my best pals and honestly saying, “I’m so happy to be here. Let’s eat cookies and watch Roseanne forever.”
After waking up with -2 hours of sleep and stumbling to work half-drunk, half-high, all crazy, Johnston stomped up to the 24th floor of his office building and discovered that his horrible, fluorescently-lit cubicle was pullulating with tiny animalcules. They danced along his computer and keyboard and along the picture of his ex-wife and children that he so fondly kept on a dartboard. They began to frolic up his French cuffs and into his underpants, and for the first time in years, Johnston felt authentic relief that something genuinely was more fucked up than he was.
–Capleton, Cindy 34 years old