Orison/perfunctory

As I walked to work my steps slowed the closer I got, and an orison left my mouth almost of its own accord – please, please let a spaceship land right now and let aliens whisk me away, anal-probe me if they must, just don’t make me go in to work today. But alas, I entered work, said and did the same things as always, performed the same perfunctory duties as yesterday and the day before, and generally wished to banish everyone I saw from the face of the earth.

~Lady Schwartz

You can’t just rattle off a long-winded orison with a perfunctory wink and smile and expect that crazy old Victorian broad to grant you eternal peace and happiness; you must live a life dedicated to tea, tartlets, cookies and scones to be truly received in the Church of Mendl.
-Gladys Potter

“Say your sweet orisons tonight, little broads!” screamed former mother superior, Sister Ursula, ripping off her habit and tossing it in the air like a graduation cap. “Y’all ain’t ruining my morality classes with your perfunctory saint memorizing and gauche shenanigans!”

-Cindy Capleton

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One Response to Orison/perfunctory

  1. Dr Banana says:

    And so he said unto us, the fart is better than a whistle and a good belch can say more than a Conway Twitty album. Go forth, let your wind be your orison and choose your direction by the smelling of your underwear. Then he lay down and cupped his balls in a perfunctory manner. He was a most strange leader, but we had a pretty good time following him for a while. Then Reebok Pumps came out and we saw for the first time our feet were naked so we concentrated on that.

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