Decollete/extraneous

I hoped that by flirting and flaunting (I was wearing my most décolleté dress—pleather, red, with lace Never You Minds pasted all over it), I could use my sexual prowess to convince the waiter at Chili’s to give us a free dessert and possibly, if it were in my cards, a free Awesome Blossom as well. However, much to my chagrin, I discovered that these were extraneous efforts, because our waiter turned out to be Elton John, notorious stickler.

–Cindy Caplyting

Though always bedecked in the finest of decollette mesh tank tops, enveloped in the mist of flowery perfumes, and charming as a beekeeper in Mississippi, Mr. Lingle could never quite mask the fact that he had an extraneous nipple on his forehead.

-gladys potter

My audition for the lead go-go dancer position at Wieners N’ Such went merely okay. I had chosen to wear the most decollette blouse in my closet and nothing else but a smile. As it turned out, the smile was extraneous, as Wieners N’ Such was a nightclub solely for the small percentage of the male population that gets off on a type of dance known only as “scowl stripping.”

~Lady Schwartz

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This entry was posted in Never You Minds, The Workplace, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Decollete/extraneous

  1. omr says:

    Cutting extraneous fabric to make the shirt
    v-necked to please the hip gay,
    I bent over my work bench and sewed and I panicked
    as he screamed at me, “More decollete!”

    —Oh My Ravensymone

  2. wrightless smalls says:

    “What’s singular for decollete?”
    “I don’t think that exists, it seems impossible, extraneous even.”
    “There’s just the one boob smartass, so only one decollete then? Maybe decolleto?”

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