Intestable/spur

As Jimmy wrote out his last will and testament, he ran through the list of his intestable family members–Mickey, his maniacal father who sustained his life on peanuts and whiskey, PiPi, his mother who insisted on cutting their acre of grass each day in nothing more than a neglige, and Snicky, his dishonorable wife who walked in a fart cloud at all times. This litany of lunatics spurred him to leave his children under the care of his cat, Wrinkles, in the unlikely event of his untimely death. -Gladys Potter

I told my friend Wrinkles that I no longer feel like taking the stand in that murder case I’ve been involved in, so he spurred me on to take drastic action. I decided to appear in court dressed in a clown’s outfit with the boobs and butt cut out. That way, I would – hopefully – be proven intestable and thus let go of my legal responsibilities.

~Lady Schwartz

“YOU CAN’T PUT ME IN JAIL! I AM INTESTABLE, I CAN’T EVEN DRIVE!” screamed the infant, in near-tears trying to spur sympathy from the jury, grabbing onto anything it could that had a solid base. “I NEVER STOLE NOTHING IN MY LIFE!” he screamed as he was put into an orange onesie. No matter his protests, the evidence was clear when : this baby has a red-handed thief.
–Cindy Caproletron

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Intestable/spur

  1. omr says:

    Spurred on by the thunder and storm’s roar outside
    I ran to find Old Rip Van Wrinkles,
    an intestable feline who scares easy and beelines
    to my bed, where he yowls and tinkles.

    —Ostentatiously Magical Rectum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s