My normally vigilant and keen senses are more than often dulled at night when reading Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace–most passages from the lackluster novel are simply longueurs, and I have learned that anyone who lists War and Peace as one of their favorites is a liar and a vagabond.
When Hank Peniston wrote his first memoir his editor was so vigilant that he pack in every single interesting thing that ever happened to him that Hank nearly ran out of tidbits for his second memoir. Not that he had to worry too much about the book being a longueur – the time Hank spent as Ronald Reagan’s fluffer combined with the fact that he’s the only man in the world with lactating nipples ensured that the book would certainly be a bestseller.
Having just been lulled to sleep by a longueur on Ronald Reagan’s unwieldy pubes in Peniston’s latest novel, the late-night Kutztown Zoo security guard sat dazed (not remotely vigilant) at his post, completely unaware of the naked and crazy homeless woman breaking in and making a home for herself amongst the giraffes.
– Gladys Potter