My faith in mankind increased an iota of a smidgen, a mere millimeter’s worth if only, after I was presented with a bouquet of fragrant jasmine blossoms upon my desk at work from an anonymous donor. However, this increase in faith decreased dramatically once I was attacked by a swarm of honeybees and animalcules that looked like tiny goblins.

–Cindy Capleton

Though he has tirelessly sought redemption by sending me fancy chocolates, elaborate bouquets of jasmine and baby’s breath, and gift certificates to Bed Bath and Beyond, I cannot offer Roger an iota of forgiveness for losing his temper and kicking me in the taint at last week’s staff meeting. -gladys potter

After weeks of experimenting, Henry finally stumbled upon the perfect recipe for his new scent: one ounce of jasmine for a soft, floral topnote, three ounces of amber for a full and musky body and finally, a prized, secret ingredient – an iota of it is all you need but it really rounds out the aroma and gives it a memorable finish. This secret ingredient shall remain nameless but here’s an inside fact: it also gave rise to the name Henry finally decided upon: Poopfume.

~Lady Schwartz

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