I was nonplussed by Enrique’s dapper appearance, stimulating conversation, and hot wife, for until this moment at our ten-year high school reunion, I had known him only as the kid in the back of the classroom who considered fart noises high art and boogers a delicacy. -Gladys Potter

Martha did all she could to maintain her aplomb, but she was clearly nonplussed when her blind date, Richard, stated that where he was from, bacon-wrapped shrimp dicks were a prized delicacy. As far as she was concerned, shrimp dicks were served best with minced garlic and nothing more. The date, in her eyes, was over.

~Lady Schwartz

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