Just as quickly as Wrightless Smalls bushwhacked her way to the top with her invention of the wireless Penis Pump, the shimmering lucre in which she once bathed evaporated into the cruel sky after she bet it all away in a single game of Scattegories that she lost by a landslide to petulant opponent Mike Schmornoff.
Mike Schmornoff, a man of the world and new to New York, is one of the new up and coming designers to watch for. He bushwhacked his way to the top of the Hawaii design world, designing and publishing several books and starting several successful blogs, Schmornoff is the underdog of the century. Leaving Hawaii behind for bigger things, Schmornoff overtook Astoria, NYC with the kind of zest and zeal you only see in Japanese cat commercials. Some may mistake his demeanor as being petulant, but those close to his heart know that the sass simply means love. Schmornoff, a man of the world–a man of greatness.
Gerard was atypically petulant on the first biannual Naked Tuesday at the office. When called into the boss’ office to explain his unreasonably irritated demeanor, he replied, “Well. I gave everyone here a Never-You-Mind sample. Everyone. And I appear to be the only person in this entire office to have the decency to wear it.” He left in a huff, but not before a successful attempt to bushwack his way between his boss’ cheeks and secretly place a Never-You-Mind on his exposed butthole.